A Simple Book

Convenient Girl

I put the mat out for you,

It is warm in here

The space where you occupy my mind.

Take off your shoes, get comfortable

You will be here a while

But the door is always open, far and wide.

I am waiting for the time and place where our two worlds collide.

A place and space where I occupy your mind

.

Waiting to hear that you think of me

Waiting to hear that I meaning something

That I am more just than a Convenient girl to you.

Waiting to hear that you want me

Waiting to know there is something deeper

That I am more than just that girl in New Mexico to you.

Starry Hosts

I always waited for the one

Who one day would chase after me.

I wanted to be the host

Your starry host.

But still I latch on to you

Clinging to you in the cold winter night.

The fireworks sound, and you move along. Burning out quickly.

But I look up, and I see your shimmery, starry self.

And I latch on again, to my detriment.

I am the parasite. I am the one standing in our way.

Coming Down

I am finally coming down

From my deluded fantasy.

The projected images burst around me.

Through the rabbit hole,

I finally see,

It was just another wasted fantasy.

Down I go,

And my self-esteem with me,

To an area I now regret.

But I could not see earlier,

So high on that mountain top,

That I was just your marionette. 

My Heart

Is broken

Blue

I just pretend

At night

I do not think of you.

It is ok,

Not feeling blue.

Even at night,

I do not think of you.

The night is cold,

The skies are clear,

A little alcohol,

to drown my thoughts, dear

Looking at my phone,

with nothing to do.

Pretending I never think of you.

The Golden Road

A few years ago,

I met you by chance

On a Golden road I remember.

You took my hand,

You showed me life.

You brought me sunshine in December.

Sadly the clouds thickened

Grey and bleak,

Over that broken golden road.

Sadly the luster diminished,

Withered and meek,

The golden coat started to erode.

Years later,

I still see a humble trace

Of sparkles on the Golden road.

The fragments shine,

Our hearts intertwine,

Our sadness we unload.

So whenever I am down,

I smile and think,

Of the fragments and broken pieces of gold.

Because I hold you in my heart,

Think of our start,

On the golden road.

Again

There was no sign

On the dirt road

So I met myself

On the same path again.

There was no path

On the dirt road

So I found myself

In circles again.

A little jagged piece of glass

Offered me a shimmer of hope,

But then I lost sight of it.

Hey, you!

I tried to get my attention.

There might be an outlet over there.

But my voice

Was drowned out 

By a sudden gust 

Of especially harsh winds.

Hey, you!

I tried one more time to get my attention.

But I only saw a blurred image of her

In the dusty winds.

I tried to shout,

To stop her,

Because I saw her meeting him

But I tripped over that jagged piece of glass. 

On the dirt road

Again.

Ice

The sunset paints colors on the ice,

Shimmering, oranges and blues.

Here we stand again

On ice, I am with you.

It cannot stay cold forever,

And the Sun is beginning to melt the paths

I hold your hand even tighter,

We can no longer go back.

The cracks are even more visible 

As the New Mexico sun bears harshly down,

Our previous paths are blurred,

Fragments of ice still around.

At the coldest of the night,

We hold hands and stare at the ice,

Frozen in time with you,

We keep warm in paradise.

No matter what the temperature,

The sky grey or blue,

I will stand with you patiently

Even on the frigid ice with you.

Ennui

Everything is dull without you

My days are black and blue.

Everything was fine before you.

The skies were powder blue.

Ennui.

It has consumed me.

I cannot go back to the day.

Before I met you.

I cannot go back to the day.

When I started to regret you.

Everything is darker blue now.

The feelings I disavow.

Everything is shaken now.

My true feelings I cannot allow.

Ennui

Has consumed me.

Without you,

I carry on blindly.

Rainbow

I built a bridge

On a rainbow

Once

For you.

All seven colors

Every single shade.

Seven.

For you.

Sometimes the clouds

Interfered

Grey and Black

With you.

But I never forgot

The rainbow

Not once

Not you.

Every shade of color

Reminds me of you.

All seven colors

Every moment - it's you.

But this rainbow

Always fades -

It is not solid

I can only see through.

But I built a bridge

On a rainbow.

Once

And it was you.

I built a bridge on this rainbow,

With a little too much blue.

Song Clouds

My thoughts float around

Like a cloud

A storm cloud --

They are all about you.

The purples, and the blues, 

And the greys

Form a cloud song,

And it is all for you.

I float on the clouds,

Not realizing it is empty space

As the droplets of moisture come down,

The mascara leaves marks on my face.

Your song is so lovely

That I always come around

Not realizing the clouds are empty.

They are clouds on the ground.

Your song is so lovely

That I always float around

Not realizing the clouds are empty

They are without sound.

Ice

The sunset paints colors on the ice,
Shimmering, oranges and blues.
Here we stand again
On ice, I am with you.

It cannot stay cold forever,
And the Sun is beginning to melt the paths
I hold your hand even tighter,
We can no longer go back.

The cracks are even more visible
As the New Mexico Sun bears harshly down,
Our previous paths are blurred,
Fragments of ice still around.

At the coldest of the night,
We hold hands and stare at the ice,
Frozen in time with you,
We keep warm in paradise.

No matter what the temperature,
The sky grey or blue,
I will stand with you patiently
Even on the frigid ice with you.

Polkadots

Meaningless specks
Floating, not slowing down
Chatter, meaningless chatter
Meaningless specks floating along

But then I took out the telescope
And those specks became dots
Meaningful dots

I started to slow down, as they floated along
Those polka dots had meaning, though they were specks all along

And when I gave them a chance,
I caught myself, floating, floating along

And when I gave them a chance,
Those polka dots became worlds
And those worlds became a
Meaningful song

Starting with those specks, floating, floating along

The Bridge

The bridge to the stars
are my thoughts of you.

They are not that far away
When I think of you.

The bridge to my soul
Is only open to you

Let us meet
Where our souls
And the stars
Intersect

The Fox

The Fox

In isolation
The beauty it has goes unnoticed
But the quick glimpse
Is enough to change you.

Despite its vibrancy,
It somehow still wears a mask
And only some see its true nature.

Camouflaged unless you are looking.

I grab my camera
And as soon as I do
It is gone.
The picture never taken.

A moment I cannot grasp or claim,
But not uncertain.

I have no proof I saw the Fox
And that is exactly what he wants, I think.

Because his beauty cannot be captured,
Only claimed.

Black Holes

Dreaming of
quantum crystals
Flashes of the past,
The shadows they cast.

Black holes can open portals of change.

Light cannot escape,
the pull of a black hole,
gravity, the weight, pushing on your soul.

Nothing that falls inside can come out again.

At least not
in its original state,
The unknown, it will emulate

the choices that are made.

In the deep blackness of night,
The light finds a way to reach
the quantum crystals of my eyes.

Sometimes I wonder,
maybe, just maybe,
if that light found a way

to escape a black hole.

After thought clouds

The desert rain turns the sky dark,
But the booming lightning is somehow comforting
When it lights up your face

And I see the real you, in a blaring instant.

Only after the rain is gone,
And the flowers start to wither in the dry heat
Do you start to think of me.

Only for a hurried moment
As a cloud passes by.

Until the pattering rain
Blurs your reflection
In a murky puddle.

And the flowers do eventually bloom,
Vibrant though dark
I do not think you see
Their growth is stunted.

And the sun shines,
And don't you look lovely
Behind the blinding light?

But I see the real you
Behind the flowing clouds
And you see me
As an after thought.